The Bedtime Shift: How a Simple Routine Changed Our Evenings
A story from a Zeepy parent.
The before - what evenings used to feel like
“Okay, just five more minutes.”
I said, despite having already said it twice.
Bedtime always began like this. Her, stalling. Me, caving in. My partner, hovering nearby, sending me a look that said, Are we really doing this again?
How was it that I, a fully functioning adult, could spend my day sitting in meetings, making decisions, holding my own, and then, by 7 pm, find myself completely outmanoeuvred by a three-year-old?
By the time we finally managed to pry her off the sofa and head upstairs, the stage was already set. Bedtime wasn’t a routine; it was a negotiation.
“Yes, okay, I suppose you can wear your Halloween costume instead of your pyjamas.”
“Alright, fine, you can do one cartwheel before you brush your teeth.”
“Sure, I’ll read you an extra book if you just settle down and stay under the covers.”
By the time the lights finally went off, it felt like we had run a marathon. But instead of feeling satisfied at the finish line, I’d be filled with dread at knowing we’d have to do it all again tomorrow.
Add to this the feelings of guilt that I was failing as a parent (heightened thanks to sleep deprivation), and it’s not surprising that I found myself near tears more evenings than I can count.
The moment of change
I can’t remember the exact moment I decided something had to change. Maybe it was when my coffee consumption crept up to four flat whites a day. Or it could have been when I realised we’d missed an entire season of our favourite TV show.
But one day, I realised that we couldn’t continue to let bedtime eat up two hours of our lives each evening. I was determined to undo the bad habits we’d fallen into and figure out a bedtime routine that works.
As luck would have it, I have four older siblings, all of whom have kids a few years older than mine.
It was time to take my bedtime struggles to the group chat.
They reassured me that the challenges we were facing weren’t unique. Bedtime is hard. It comes at the time of day when both you, the parents, and your child are the most depleted. No one brings their best self to the process.
Something they all agreed on was the need for consistency and routine. Rather than sticking to rigid timings, it was the sequence of events that mattered most, they told me. Follow the same sequence each night, and bedtime will find its rhythm.
So we tried it. Nothing dramatic. No major changes. Just a commitment to the sequence (bath, PJs, brush teeth, storytime, lights out), and to holding the line a little more firmly than we had been.
We also added a sleep trainer clock (we went with Zeepy’s Kip) to provide clear, visual cues for when to settle and when to sleep. Our daughter took to it right away. She seemed far more willing to follow the clock’s gentle cues than our verbal requests, and we were more than happy to pass the torch!
There’s something about it coming from the clock rather than from us that just lands differently. It removed some of the back-and-forth almost immediately.
The first week
The results of our bedtime overhaul didn’t happen overnight. Progress was gradual.
The first night looked…not too different from before.
The second night went a little bit better. Marginally.
The third night, we had a breakthrough. Completely unprompted, our daughter ran into her room to check her clock, to see whether it was time to start settling down. We were thrilled that the new sequence seemed to be working. For the first time in three years, my partner and I could truthfully say that bedtime had gone smoothly.
It felt like something had clicked. There was less resistance, fewer last-minute negotiations, and a noticeable shift in how she moved through the routine. She wasn’t being pushed from one step to the next, but was starting to follow along on her own. For the first time, I could envision a future where bedtime felt manageable.
We were this close to busting out the champagne.
Good thing we didn’t. Because on the fourth night, we were back to square one. Goofiness, struggling to settle, and a tantrum for the record books.
Despite the wobble, we stuck to our guns and kept up the routine. Our perseverance was rewarded. As we entered the second week, we could confidently say things had shifted for the better. It wasn’t that every night suddenly worked. It was that the overarching pattern held, even when individual evenings didn’t. It was this gradual progress that motivated us to stay with it.
The after - what evenings feel like now
While I wouldn’t say we’ve fully mastered it, I can confidently say bedtime goes smoothly most nights now. We’re not tracking it too closely, but I’d guess we’re hovering around 85/15 in terms of how often it goes to plan. We’ll definitely take those odds!
Again, the shift was nothing dramatic. We didn’t analyse the feng shui of her bedroom. We didn’t get deep into the weeds of circadian science. We didn’t spend money we don’t have on hiring a sleep expert.
We simply developed a sequence-based routine and committed to it.
This, paired with the sleep trainer clock, has allowed our daughter to better understand the rhythm of the evening. She can predict what’s coming next, and for that reason, the transition from play to settle to sleep doesn’t feel so jarring.
On nights when she needs a little longer to settle, we sometimes play one of the Zeepy bedtime stories as part of the wind-down, which has become another familiar cue alongside the light.
The independence she’s gained, the sense of agency she now feels over her sleep and wake routines, has ended up being an unexpected benefit of introducing the clock. Not only are we happier with smoother evenings and more sleep, but we’ve gotten to watch her confidence grow as she takes more ownership over it all.
Bedtime now feels more child-led (in a good way, not a chaotic way). She’s involved in the process, rather than pushing against it.
Taking the win
As parents, we don’t always stop to celebrate our achievements. Probably because parenting is never easy or complete. Some nights are still challenging. Not every bedtime is a 10 out of 10.
But my partner and I have made a point of acknowledging that our new approach is working. For the most part, we have our evenings back. At the risk of jinxing things, we’re happy to say that bedtime is going much, much better.
How much of it is down to our commitment to a consistent routine? Or the sleep clock? Or my daughter’s natural growth and development? We can’t be entirely sure. It’s likely a combination of all three.
But one thing is certain: we’re taking the win.
Download Zeepy’s free 32-page sleep guide to learn how to support your child at bedtime, or discover our sleep training clocks.
Bedtime routine for toddlers: parent FAQs
How long does it take a new bedtime routine to start working?
Progress is usually gradual rather than instant. Many families see a clear shift somewhere in the first two weeks - the third or fourth night often brings a breakthrough, followed by a wobble, followed by a steadier pattern from week two onwards. Stay with the sequence even on the bad nights.
Does the order of bedtime steps matter more than the timing?
For most toddlers, yes. A consistent sequence (bath, PJs, brush teeth, storytime, lights out) gives the body and brain reliable cues that sleep is coming, even if the clock-time varies a little. Rigid timings can be harder to hold than a rigid sequence.
Why does a sleep trainer clock work better than verbal reminders?
Visual cues sidestep the back-and-forth. When the prompt to settle comes from a clock rather than a parent, there’s nothing to negotiate with - and many toddlers respond more willingly to a neutral, predictable signal than to a tired adult voice.
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